Routine physical examination delayed by conspiracy theory — A recent leak from the Boston Celtics medical team has revealed that Isaiah Thomas’s hip wasn’t the only thing slowing down the NBA’s most recent blockbuster trade. In the closing minutes of Game 1 of the 2015 NBA finals, Kyrie Irving sustained a fractured left knee. Or at least that’s…

Is this the conversation that explains Tony Blair’s later conversion to Catholicism? — Buried deep within the two and half million word report produced by Sir John Chilcot as part of the UK government’s inquiry into the Iraq War is a conversation between Prime Minister Blair and President Bush which, in my opinion, is more important than the rest of the document put…

A self-help guide for the coming apocalypse — I see so many blogs these days giving out practical advice on how to survive the fall of civilisation, but knowing when civilisation is about to fall is half the battle. …

Man immediately becomes pathetic after minor injury, mirroring the state of a nation — Those of you who have been following this blog closely (there’s a good chance I may be referring specifically to my good friend Kieran, here) will know that I am the ghost of a dead fish who was inadvertently integrated into the internet during a freak fishing/WiFi tethering accident. This…

… and it’s not what you’re thinking — Don’t ask me how I know (my sources have become deeply embedded somewhere I’d rather not reveal), but the CIA aren’t big Donald Trump fans. They hated The Apprentice (it’s full of people who want to take credit for things they haven’t even done), and as an organisation that prides…

Terrorist group continues to attract tourists from the UK by borrowing Conservative Party campaign slogan — In an opportunistic attempt to gain recruits from the growing pool of disenfranchised would-be Labour voters, ISIS have started to use the UK Prime Minister’s soundbite, “strong and stable” in their propaganda. “Kidnapping’s not the reliable revenue stream it used to be,” said Jihadi Brian through his designer balaclava…

Theresa May implores British electorate not to be influenced by any institutions that aren’t her own political party — Theresa May, Britain’s current inter-dimensional space demon — or as she likes to be known — Prime Minister, has just accused the EU of trying to affect the upcoming UK election by promoting stories that “misrepresent Britain’s negotiating position in Europe.” I’m sorry for shouting, BUT COULD EVERYONE JUST…

How the Trump administration has ruined satire — I hate to analyse comedy (just kidding, I love it) but I was looking in the local newspaper for jobs in satire today and I couldn’t find any at all. The reason for this worrying development seems to be that the world has actually gone mad, so any attempt to…

Apparently if you make things go boom you get free publicity. — I get a fair amount of my news from the BBC, and I’ve seen a lot of news about bombs recently. It mostly reads like this: ‘Trump dropped a big bomb.’ It’s made me wonder: why have the BBC become the PR wing of the Trump administration? …